Why EMDR Might feel uncomfortable before it starts to get better

If you’ve started EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, you might be wondering: Why does this feel harder before it feels better? You’re not alone. EMDR is an incredibly effective therapy for processing trauma, but it can stir up a lot of emotions before you start feeling relief. This is totally normal—and a sign that your brain is doing the deep work of healing. Let’s explore why EMDR can feel uncomfortable at first and how to navigate the challenges that come with it.

Why does EMDR feel uncomfortable at first?

1. You’re Accessing Deeply Stored Memories

EMDR helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories, which means bringing them to the surface. These memories might have been tucked away for years, and when they resurface, they can feel just as intense as when they first happened. It’s unsettling but temporary—the discomfort means your brain is starting to heal.

2. Forgotten Memories Might Resurface

Trauma isn’t always stored in a neat, linear way. During EMDR, forgotten memories or emotions can bubble up unexpectedly. This might catch you off guard, but it’s actually a sign that your brain is making important connections to help you fully process past experiences.

3. Your Brain Is Learning a New Way to Process Pain

For years, your brain has been reacting to trauma in a certain way—maybe through avoidance, anxiety, or overwhelm. EMDR rewires those patterns, but change can feel uncomfortable before it starts to feel better. Think of it like physical therapy: stretching out old wounds can be painful at first, but it’s a crucial step toward lasting relief.

4. You Might Experience Physical Discomfort

Because trauma is often stored in the body, you might notice physical sensations like tightness, nausea, or fatigue during or after EMDR sessions. While uncomfortable, these sensations are temporary and a sign that your body is processing what’s been held inside for so long.

how to talk to your therapist about emdr discomfort

Your therapist is there to support you, so don’t hesitate to share what you’re feeling. Here’s how to open up the conversation:

• Be Honest About Your Experience
  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally raw, let your therapist know. They can adjust the pace of the sessions or introduce extra grounding techniques to help you stay balanced.

• Ask for More Coping Strategies
  If the discomfort feels intense, ask about additional ways to stay grounded between sessions.

• Share Your Concerns About the Process
  If you’re unsure whether EMDR is working for you, ask your therapist to help you understand what’s happening. Sometimes just knowing that what you’re experiencing is normal can be reassuring.

ways to stay grounded during emdr

When emotions feel overwhelming, grounding techniques can help you stay present and centered. Here are some simple strategies:

• Bilateral Stimulation (Tapping) – Tap lightly on your shoulders or knees in a rhythmic pattern to soothe your nervous system.

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique – Name 5 things you see, 4 things you touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste to anchor yourself in the present.

• Controlled Breathing – Try box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold for 4 again.

• Visualize a Safe Place – Picture a calming place where you feel safe and secure to help regulate distress.

ARe you trying to impress your therapist?

It’s common to want to “do EMDR right” or impress your therapist by showing progress. But therapy isn’t about performing—it’s about healing. If you find yourself worrying about saying the “right” things, remind yourself that this space is for you. The more honest and vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the more effective the process will be.

how long does emdr processing take

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Some people experience relief after just a few sessions, while others need more time to process deeply rooted trauma. Factors like the severity of past experiences, emotional readiness, and external support systems all play a role. Be patient with yourself—healing is not a race.

final thoughts: trust the process

If EMDR feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean it’s not working. In fact, it’s often a sign that deep healing is happening. Keep communicating with your therapist, lean on grounding techniques, and remind yourself that discomfort is temporary. You are doing brave, transformative work, and relief is on the other side of this process.

If you’re navigating EMDR and have questions or experiences you’d like to share, reach out—I’d love to hear from you. And if you found this helpful, feel free to share it with someone who might need it!